Not My Brightest Moment


“Awr we moving to Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“We awr moving to Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“Is da car moving to Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“Is Max moving to Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“Is da baby moving to Portwand?”

“Yes – Squid goes with us everywhere.  He’s your brother – you’re stuck with him, kid.”

“Is my bwankey moving to Portwand?”

“Yes.”

“We awr moving to Portwand?”

“YES.”

“Portwand?!?”

“YES!  WE ARE ALL MOVING TO PORTLAND.  BUT NOT UNTIL THIS SUMMER.  LET’S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.  PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, PLEASE JUST TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.”

……..

…………….

………………………

“Portwand?  We awr moving to Portwand?”

Dear Internet,

If I ever get the bright idea of repeating the same phrase over and over again to my son in hopes of having him repeat me…

Just shoot me.

Please?

Sincerely,

Becky Bean

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8 thoughts on “Not My Brightest Moment

  1. That's funny. All those times you wanted him to say it and he wouldn't, now you can't get him to stop. Something I learned for a question asker was to start asking the questions back at them, it put's their brains in a different loop. Try it and see if it works.

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  2. If you want him to change the subject whisper one obscenity, one time, in another room, while he's watching TV and fighting with his brother.

    I guarantee he will quit saying Portland.

    Like

  3. Hi. I've been reading your blog a long time, but never posted before. Your writing is very funny; I just haven't had a lot to say that others didn't already say.

    But I did want to say that Portland is a great place. And, if you like books, Powell's (6 floors, both new and used, and a coffee shop in the middle of things) is one of the best bookstores ever.

    Like

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