Here is a little background information you need to know:
We are deep in the throes of potty training the DragonMonkey, a process that has good days, bad days, and oh-wow-is-this-kid-really-my-responsibility days.
Apparently he is shy when it comes to using the toilet, because as soon as you put him on the toilet he immediately begins waving you away with his hand. It’s almost a ritual at this point.
“Go away, Mama. GO AWAY!” he orders rudely.
“You do NOT talk to adults in that tone of voice, young man. You apologize this instant.”
“Pwease go away, Mama? Pwease? Shut da doowr? Pwease go away?”
I am mollified by his polite tone, and leave him behind, shutting the door behind me and standing outside for what seems like hours, awaiting his demanding bellow of, “Awww done, Mama! Awwwl done!”. At that point I am graciously allowed to enter the bathroom again where I have the unbelievable priviledge of wiping his heiny for him.
It’s the little joys in life that make it all worth it.
The other bit of information you need to know is that the DragonMonkey is the proud owner of a cute little purple octopus bath toy. It’s a cheap plastic toy that floats in the water. It’s made up of three parts: the top part (the body) the bottom part (the legs) and and a string you pull on which causes the the legs to spin around like a boat propeller, causing the toy to move sluggishly through the water.
Okay, now onto the email from my mom:
When the DragonMonkey goes to use the toilet, we shall no longer let him have his privacy anymore,
After pooing a truckload in the toilet, he then took his little purple octopus, pulled the string, put it on top of the poop, and then had a blending party in the toilet. After he was done with the blending he tossed it in the tub and proceeded to further his fun and games.
Your stepfather was not very happy.
At the time, I was in my studio blending for real with a real blender, making baby food for the Squidgelet. I came in and saw a face on your stepdad that I do not ever want to see again, and the little DragonMonkey taking a much-needed bath.
Have a good day,
Come on. Admit it. Aren’t you glad he’s not yours?