We really are horrible parents.

It’s all my fault.

It really is.

I mean, if it weren’t for us, the DragonMonkey probably would have loooooooved monkeys.

But then we went and scarred him for life..

Every night we have to convince him – YET AGAIN – that no.

No.

NO.

No, there are no herds of monkeys living in our absurdly tiny backyard. The ficus trees that line the wall do NOT contain hoards of evil, flesh-biting monkeys or angry, volatile gorillas.

The trees are full of leaves. And sticks. And probably a couple of birds or bugs.

There are NO monkeys.

It takes awhile to convince him of this, but eventually it sinks in.

Until the next night.

And the next.

And the next.

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7 thoughts on “We really are horrible parents.

  1. I'd make fun of him for his fear but now he has a reocurring nightmare that the monkeys come out of the wall at night…

    AND EAT HIS EYEBALLS.

    Holy crap. If I had nightmares like that I'd be terrified of monkeys, too!

    Where in the world did Isaac come up with an elephant? That's random.

    Like

  2. Having never raised a child from the larval stage, I have only sympathy for the DM. You evil woman. Heh heh heh.

    That said, did I ever tell you that we used to threaten to feed naughty horses to the wolves…until one time I was camping with my old mare Story and THERE REALLY WERE WOLVES.

    Just to say, you know, like, be careful.

    Heh heh heh.

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  3. Just toss a few bucks in the therapy fund. Our kids have about three years worth of weekly sessions built up and we still have 10 yrs to really screw 'em up. Sigh.

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  4. Here's one for the terrible parent archives: Luke's paci (not just any paci, but his FAVORITE, absolutely cannot go to bed without it paci) was recalled. Of course I ripped it instantly from his contented little mouth and incinerated it in our used-horse-incinerator (I know, I should only use that for used horses, but I was just so zealous I lost control of myself).

    Like

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