Lately, my days have been slam-busy.

They start at 5 and don’t really wrap up until after ten. The Squidgelet is a much better sleeper than the DragonMonkey ever was, but he’s still up two or three times a night.

I wish I had more energy to write more. I really do.

I dream of a world where I’ve just come in from riding my horse to my spotlessly clean, peaceful house. I pour myself a glass of fresh-brewed sweet iced tea and head out to my wrap-around porch to indulge in a little writing (PAID writing) as I watch the sun sink behind a hill on my property. The grass is long, bending beneath an evening breeze that makes the fields ripple like water, and I breathe deeply of the still, sweet, NO-PEOPLE-AROUND-ANYWHERE evening air.

Usually, whenever I fade into that reverie the DragonMonkey takes advantage of my slight moment of distraction to break something or to hug his little brother into screaming wakefulness.


So, that said, here’s a couple of vignettes to tide people over until I can manage to finish a normal post:


The DragonMonkey is an avid conversationalist— the problem is that between the mix of English, Spanish, invented words (nonope means oatmeal? Really?) and just plain mumbling, it’s hard to understand more than 10% of what he’s actually saying.

I can tell that this frustrates him a great deal, but until he learns how to speak words a little clearer there’s not much I can do.

The other day he was talking to me about the “twen”.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but up until that conversation I had no stinking idea what a “twen” is.


There were an infinite amount of possibilities.

knfljoieknf;knkl TWEN! 8r53jlkfjklfdj TWEN! Ur39jkfdnklfjdj TWEN! 5ru0ojkfjsdl;akfj49kdfsn; TWEN UP! UP! BYE! RU390JFDJ;LK TWEN! UR932JHJKL BYE BYE, TOTO! UEIOWJ;EKLJ TWEN!”

He sat on my knee, barely managing to catch his breath as the words tumbled over each other. The story was getting more heated and was accompanied with intense facial expressions and a whole lot of arm waving.

Finally, after the 97th repetion of “TWEN! TWEN!” I decided I should actually try to figure out what he was talking about, so I interrupted him:

DragonMonkey, what’s a ‘Twen’?”

He paused mid sentence, arms falling to his sides as he gave me a look of disgust.

Choo! Choo!” he said scornfully, using his arms to emulate a little toy train rolling along as he made the classic train noise.

“Oh. TRAIN. Gotcha.”

I swear I actually saw him roll his eyes before he launched back into his story.


DragonMonkey: “8490jlkfdsjnk;lafhjioewrklwenfsm klewjioru32oihfknklfdnkl;?”

Me (pretending to pay attention as I reread Shogun for the millionth time): “Uh-huh.”

DM: “uioreji;klndfsklhiowhikenwfkdnklewiorhewnfdknklfnl TWEN uteowjklfdn;kl TWEN!”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

DM: “u9oqr3jklfjkjrewioknfd DOGGIE ureoiqwjlfknwdk TWEN uroewijklwenfkld EVAN uwioerklnfkd araña utioewjkfdns; house fjdos9ejowm choochoo!”

ME: “Really?”

DM: “ruiowjefkldnklfnewkrehwionfkdsn Aaaaaaa, Mama? Aaaaaaa, Mama?”

Important tidbit I didn’t notice at the time: “aaaaaaaa” was said in the same drawn-out tones tone people use when they are spelling something out loud: Ddddd Ooooo Ggggg! Dog! This is important to know because “aaaaaaaah” said in that tone is DragonMonkeyese for “I am writing on something.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

DM: “Aaaaa Mama?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

He gave a contented sigh and begin happily coloring on my knee.

With a green Sharpie marker.

And I wasn’t even allowed to get mad since I was the one who granted him permission.


Me. Iced tea. Wrap-around porch on a summer evening, the sweet scent of horses filling the air. Knees that aren’t scribbled on by condescending two-year-olds. Hey, a girl can dream, right?


4 thoughts on “Excerpts

  1. Then your beautiful sorrel Morgan mare with the flaxen mane and tail decides to kick the snot out of your stunning chocolate palomino Morgan gelding with just the right amount of chrome.
    Her hind legs go through the panels and she tears down the entire fence line trying to escape.
    You leap to your feet and go racing out to make sure your mare isn't crippled for life.
    Then the beautiful gelding goes racing by and gets to the mare first.
    She double barrels him in the chest right as you arrive.
    She's lost all the hide down the inside of both hind legs and he has a half moon in his chest that will take at least two stitches.
    Then your cell phone rings and Dragon Monkey tells you he's coming home.
    Turns out he dropped out of school to marry his girlfriend,Chardonnae. He knows the age difference won't matter and he can't wait for you to meet her three kids.
    Bwah ha ha ha – The Dream Masher


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