Things I Never Thought I’d Say

Motherhood is weird.

I spend less time parenting than I do shepherding the DragonMonkey around the house as he pingpongs around from danger to danger.

And I catch the weirdest stuff coming out of my mouth.

“Bleach is not for babies.”

“Get your hands out of the toilet.”

“Get that tampon out of your mouth!” <— unused!

“No playing in the trash.”

“Quit making yourself vomit!”

“Knives are not for playing.”

“Don’t eat the cellphone.”

The list goes on. I’m trying to keep track of the strange things I find myself saying, mostly so I can embarrass the DragonMonkey once he’s in high school. Today’s addition to the list?

“Quit licking the cat.”

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3 thoughts on “Things I Never Thought I’d Say

  1. Ha! Came over from Mugs. This is great. I had to convince my son Jack (now 3) when he was younger not to lick the sliding glass door when he was mad. Never imaged having to ask my baby to please stop licking windows. But I thought it was important since the dog also likes to stand out there and lick the door when she wants in. Yuck! 🙂

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  2. Hee hee. Things I've said to my 22 month old Tasmanian Devil?

    “Please don't climb into the dishwasher.”

    “Please stop biting the toilet.”

    “We don't sweep the kitchen floor with the toilet brush.”

    Great blog!

    Like

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