Wal…err… Mal-Mart


Going Bald

This is a direct quote from a pregnancy site:

“Many women notice that the hair on their head is thicker during pregnancy. Many lose a lot of hair a few weeks or months after delivery. These changes are normal. Hair growth generally returns to its regular growing cycle within six months after delivery.”

Well. That sounds simple, right?

It’s not. Okay, maybe the thicker-hair-during-pregnancy is fairly direct, and easy to experience. In fact, come to think about it, it may have been the easiest part of pregnancy.

Fortunately, I am not pregnant anymore. Unfortunately, I am in the process of losing a “lot of hair”.

And let me tell you, when I say a lot of hair, I mean A LOT OF HAIR.

I’m shedding all over my clothes.

I’m shedding all over the baby.

I’m molting all over my husband.

I’m plugging drains, and filling hairbrushes, and I think I may have even CLOGGED THE VACUUM. Yes. That’s right. The vacuum wasn’t working properly, and when I flipped it over to figure out why, there was the culprit: A nice, disgusting, fuzzy little clump of ME jamming the spinny-mechanism (that’s a technical term, only to be used by trained professionals.)

The dust bunnies that used to be composed of cat-hair are now completely outnumbered by the growing army of Me-Hairballs that are scurrying around the corners. I know it’s completely natural… but it’s also really gross. Nobody needs to spend this much time sweeping up discarded bits of themselves.